20 years


 

Turning 21 in one month and somehow it gives me such a strong feeling. This didn’t come out as a shock of being 21, but it was a self-reflection for the 20 year life I had experienced. This post includes my personal words, sharing you my path in self-development and what have made me today.

photoBeing a child in a divorced family was not a great thing. I witnessed the whole process of a broken family when I was little. It was definitely not an image that you would want to see. Broken glasses, broken hearts… In some way, I managed to get through it, and in fact, it gave me the ability to be stronger. I was an insecure girl, lived in depression and just wanted to hide myself. I personally took a self-development course for 3 days just to figure out what I was facing and let people help me. It did help at first, but I slipped back to my old path.

However, I found a way out. I found my belief in me. I set a goal for myself to improve or change one thing a year. This change you cannot just set out of a blue, you see from what you are not good at or what people who are closed to you comment on you. During this process, I had to learn to ignore what people thought about me and said around me. If you listen to those voices, you will just only be more insecure. After awhile, I did it unconciously, till now.

A big change in my life was when I met Gerwin. This three-year relationship has made a huge impact in my self-development. Obviously, I learnt from him a lot since he’s older than me. His characters are similar to mine so we got along with each other quite easily. However, he had some insecurities himself. I learned his insecurities and tried to help him get out of it. It may sound like I knew what I was doing (but I did  it out of love). When you focus on other person, you will forget about yourself. Sometimes, when you help someone, you help youself in some ways (that’s what I experienced).

20 years old, people say “you’re still young, you don’t know it all”. True, I don’t know it all but I have felt it all. To me, my path which I took during those 20 years may be the right path. Leaving family, living abroad, doing what I am doing… I never regret any decision that I made. There were sorrow, heart broken, laugh and tear, they all made me today. Anyone who have been in this path, they all are special to me.

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6 thoughts on “20 years

  1. Great post Angela! I am so happy for you that you found your way after such terrible family issue and depression…You should be very proud of yourself. Hugs

  2. I am proud of you, Angela. You sounded so similar to the one I loved deeply. You are stronger and I hope you will stay strong, confident, value yourself of who you are as a person, self-respect, self worth and most of all…do take care of yourself. You are always a friend that I will always remember, a guidance to me when I took my advance level examination in Vietnamese language in 2011. Thanks. Love.

  3. Honey I understand what you and your family have been through. My situation wouldn’t result as harsh as yours, although there are broken glasses and broken hearts.. but I’m still working my way out to improve my family’s life by trying to be good myself first (it’s not that easy but i’m hopeful haha). I’m glad you’re sharing such experience and being brave standing up and moving on. Haven’t talked and seen you for quite a while but knowing you’re doing great and being overwhelmingly happy, I’m happy too. I support all the choices you make and wish you great future ahead. Enjoy life and enjoy yourself. Love you 🙂

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