Turning 21 in one month and somehow it gives me such a strong feeling. This didn’t come out as a shock of being 21, but it was a self-reflection for the 20 year life I had experienced. This post includes my personal words, sharing you my path in self-development and what have made me today.
Being a child in a divorced family was not a great thing. I witnessed the whole process of a broken family when I was little. It was definitely not an image that you would want to see. Broken glasses, broken hearts… In some way, I managed to get through it, and in fact, it gave me the ability to be stronger. I was an insecure girl, lived in depression and just wanted to hide myself. I personally took a self-development course for 3 days just to figure out what I was facing and let people help me. It did help at first, but I slipped back to my old path.
However, I found a way out. I found my belief in me. I set a goal for myself to improve or change one thing a year. This change you cannot just set out of a blue, you see from what you are not good at or what people who are closed to you comment on you. During this process, I had to learn to ignore what people thought about me and said around me. If you listen to those voices, you will just only be more insecure. After awhile, I did it unconciously, till now.
A big change in my life was when I met Gerwin. This three-year relationship has made a huge impact in my self-development. Obviously, I learnt from him a lot since he’s older than me. His characters are similar to mine so we got along with each other quite easily. However, he had some insecurities himself. I learned his insecurities and tried to help him get out of it. It may sound like I knew what I was doing (but I did it out of love). When you focus on other person, you will forget about yourself. Sometimes, when you help someone, you help youself in some ways (that’s what I experienced).
20 years old, people say “you’re still young, you don’t know it all”. True, I don’t know it all but I have felt it all. To me, my path which I took during those 20 years may be the right path. Leaving family, living abroad, doing what I am doing… I never regret any decision that I made. There were sorrow, heart broken, laugh and tear, they all made me today. Anyone who have been in this path, they all are special to me.