Dating life as a traveller


Travelling is great and travelling alone is not as bad as you think. The day I decided to be a solo traveller, that was when I knew I would take a different route for my life and a big part of it is my dating life. Consistently on the road by yourself, there is always a moment you feel alone. Seeing those couples kissing, holding hands, laughing with each other, jealousy raises in you (or at least it has done to me). I have felt that. I was there before, having a relationship that people gotta be jealous of, travelling with a boyfriend and having someone to share the moment with. However, travelling alone has given me different reasons to travel more. But I got to admit, I do feel lonely sometimes and wish to have someone in my life to share the journey and great moments of travels with.

So many people have told me this:
“Travellers are sluts”.

I do not completely agree but I am not denying it. Let’s be honest to ourselves for a second. The lonesome that we get as a solo traveler hits us sometimes and sexual desire is something that you cannot reject. That is why we start to look for one night stands. Alright, there might be some of us. I am not in the position to say either I have or I have not had any of those but stories pass and cross our ears – sex in hostels, having one nighties with someone… No matters if that ever happens, it is just a fact which excuses our sexuality.

Is dating possible while travelling?

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As long as you or/and your partner accept you are a traveller, there is no problem here, isn’t it? This is the real deal:

If both of you are travellers and somehow you think you can travel together, Then, there is no discussion at this point. Enjoy each other’s company, date and travel.

On the other hand:
If one each other is going different ways and you find that you have this certain connection with each other, either you wait and figure out how you will meet each other again, or you should enjoy the moment and let each other go.

If you travel and meet your date who happens to be the one living in the destination you are travelling in, consider either if you are willing to make that work by moving or travelling to the other’s place or you come up with this thing called distance relationship.  It is hard, I know, but if you are up for it, there is no reason to say no.

Do distance relationships work?

Having been travelling as a solo traveller for the last two years, getting into some kind of relationships with some of guys who were either living in the city I stayed for awhile or meeting on the road and dating some of them, my answer would probably NO. However, it is not the assumption for this and it actually depends on several criteria:

  1. How well do you know each other?
  2. How well you get along?
  3. Are you a cheater?
  4. Are you willing to be apart from your partner because of your passion for travelling?
  5. Do you or your partner have trust in other or in the relationship you have?
  6. How much are you willing to sacrifice?

Most of those dates I have got while travelling/living abroad, I was not the one saying no or getting away from the relationships. That might sound sad but that is the way it goes. The fear of commitment in men is so much stronger than in women. Therefore, if you are a woman, I would recommend to learn to accept that and prepare for everything that could happen.

However, I somehow believe that such thing called distance relationship could possibly work. Maybe that is the woman in me telling me that.
Women always have the fantasy to have the perfect relationship or a fairy-tale like one but that doesn’t come easy as they dream. We still have the hope nonetheless. As distance relationships, they are hard and we travellers somehow have to accept it either way. It works eventually when you and your partner have the same perspective and comply with the distance you will have. The important thing is to have trust in each other and to the relationship.

Difficulties come along but nothing is impossible!

Is it trust-worthy to date a solo traveller?

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How many times have you seen the article called “Why should you date a girl who travels?”? I wouldn’t say that dating a traveller is not great. In fact, whatever written in the article is correct. However, I bet you have your doubt about dating a traveller. It does not matter if either you are a girl or a boy, it all comes to the question – Is your date trust-worthy enough? 

Distance relationship is still the topic here and talking about trust, you should learn about your partner well enough before letting him/her go on his/her travels again. What I have seen so far, cheaters are everywhere on the road. However, don’t take this as a negative thing. I have experienced that some of us travel to be alone, to find ourselves, and some to find love. Thus, if you happen to be the one, you do not have to be afraid of dating a traveller. Wherever he/she goes, he/she will be back to you.

 

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17 thoughts on “Dating life as a traveller

  1. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 3 years. During this time we have always been long distance, we have a 2 hour drive between us and only get to see each other at weekends. However, we are also both very passionate about our travelling and our own careers. He got the opportunity to go to south East Asia for 2 and a half months while I had just bagged an awesome job, so off he went and here I stayed. It was a struggle sometimes but we love and trust each other so much it all seemed to fly by. This coming year, I will be going to south and central America for 3 months and he will not be coming with me because he will be studying his Masters Degree. We know that 2 to 3 months is not by any means a long stretch of time, but it does feel like it when you love someone. However, we both believe that we can make it work, as we have done in the past and will certainly do again. We also accept that it may not work for what ever reason, but it doesn’t deter us 🙂 we also have plenty of friends who have found love in their year long travels as solo globe trotters. And loads who have gone abroad with their partners and it ripped them apart rather than unified them. It is different in every case 🙂

    1. That’s quite an inspiring story and I am sure that people would find hope and faith in love after reading your comment. Thank you for that.
      I experienced long distance relationship before since I had a boyfriend who had to travel for his work most of the time. We had to be apart every now and then for about 2 months each. But it actually made our relationship stronger. No longer in that relationship but I believe that it is possible because love creates us to believe in it and once you have it, distance is not a problem at all. As travelling, I think if you love someone who loves to trot every now and then, you must accept that as well. As long as you love each other, time apart is not a matter.

      1. I completely agree 🙂 plus I am a total believer in the fact that if it ends then something better is out there and it simply was not meant to be

  2. But one thing I think for sure! Travelers have so much experience and beautiful things to share that they should be loved and should be able to fall in love and enjoy sharing that connection with someone else 🙂

  3. Nice one, very genuine. However wonderful lady, be aware that ANYONE who tells you that female solo travellers are sluts is just a sad frustrated piece of shit who feels threaten by you because you are free and self-reliant. I’ve been a solo female traveller for years and have never heard anyone volunteer such a cheap piece of wisdom but those who do certainly don’t deserve your time. Keep going, be yourself, embrace the highs and the lows and you will find the person who deserves you. Lots of love xxx 🙂

  4. I think that long distance relationships can work, but only if there is eventually going to be an end to them. If you know, “Hey, it’s only a few months, then we’ll be back together,” then cool. It’s not that big of deal. But if you don’t know when you’ll see each other again, that’s when it becomes tough, or maybe impossible. Just my thought 🙂

  5. One of the most frustrating things about travelling single is that there’s frequently nobody to help take photographs! Ha ha! Good post, from an eternal singleton 🙂

  6. Living/traveling in Thailand for the past year has taught me a lot about my love life that I may otherwise never have known. I have struggled with meeting someone at a hostel where the bond was amazing but we had to part ways later. Enjoy the time we had, I know. But now I met someone interesting in Bangkok and even though we are in the same country it’s still quite far, but we are going to try. Very timely post that addresses my hesitations as I embark on this long-distance journey.

    Looking forward to your next posts!

  7. I live on Stewart Island, New Zealand, and have a restaurant here. We get many young travelers passing through working for the summer. The island is small and everyone staying for any time will virtually meet everyone. Many relationships (for lack of a better term) begin and mostly end. The ones traveling through generally keep on traveling, and the ones who are here stay and keep on living: the circle of love.

    As long as both parties gain something form the time they have then it is a great opportunity to grow. Many things end a relationship, one person continuing their journey, is better than most.

  8. This post is great, so honest and true! I’m a single solo traveller and wouldn’t have it any other way. Maybe one day I’ll meet someone who I can travel with, but for now I’m enjoying doing what I want when I want!!! Happy travels!

    1. That’s the spirit, girl!!! I hope you will meet someone that you can travel with but for now as you are enjoying yourself, I don’t see why you should be bothered. Safe travels X

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